The Cereal Killer Café

Suckle at the sweet, milky teet of Saturday morning nostalgia at the Cereal Killer Cafe, Shoreditch.

 

Nostalgia is one of the strongest sensations the body can experience: a cry from the shadow of youth into the stark unforgiving chaos of adulthood for a return to uncomplicated safety and comfort. It follows that in the new youth business hotbeds such as Shoreditch, now that entrepreneurial kids have gone past their mid-20s (and by association the obligatory days of ‘lost youth’ defined by experimental drug taking) they’ve taken advantage of crowd funding platforms to launch ventures that speak to them about a past time when truth was a concept so simple it could be defined by the regularity of Saturday morning cartoons and sugary nutrients. Cereal Killer Café has two branches in Brick Lane and Camden respectively, and both bring a true sense of creative flair that ties in to the gimmick-punk populism pioneered by both market places. 

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Started by two of the most dapper identical twins in the world, Cereal Killer Café menu offers 120 different types of cereal from around the world, 13 different milks, 12 flavours of pop tarts, and enough rare memorabilia to kick-start a wave of enchanted emulators. Remarkably, the offering of cereal surpasses expectations, catering to both those looking to get off on a sugar high as well as health-conscious individuals. Although the list of cereals is most impressive when laid out in front of you, the truly exciting part is ‘cereal cocktails’ (admittedly, my heart did sink momentarily when I realised that no alcohol was involved). ‘Peanut butter jelly time’ features peanut butter Cap’n Crunch, Reese’s Chips, and strawberry milk, and health nuts will adore the ‘bran gran thank you ma’am’ which mixes bran flakes, granola, raisins, and soy milk. All of the cocktails are united by their collective whimsy and delightful visual presentation. Out of all of them, the ‘Chocopottomus’ tugs at the heartstrings the most: who would have thought that placing a Kinder Happy Hippo amongst a mud pond of Coco Pops, Krave, and chocolate milk could have such a dramatic effect upon the levels of glee and delight of the lucky recipient? Cereal bar London yes great.

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Aside from the cereals, the drinks are just as exotic and varied with the highly elusive A & W Root Beer finding a home between Fanta Grape, Vanilla Coke, and adorable juice boxes. Even the toast deserves a mention: Popping Candy Spread does exactly what you would expect, and those who have yet to encounter the sickly joys of Marshmallow Fluff will find an abundance of it here.  Cereal Killer Café is so much more than a cereal bar, it is an ode to the rise of Willa-Wonka-esque Americana commercialism: a triumph of the lasting power of childhood, and proof that some of the best things in life are not the most expensive or conventionally valuable.

Brick lane cafe is excellent and right here; cereal killer cafe is one of the best cafes in Shoreditch.

Cereal Killer Café London can be found at 139 Brick Ln, London E1 6SB, and Cereal Cafe Camden is located at the Stables in Camden Market.
Cereal Killer London opening hours: 8am-8pm

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